New Beginnings

I'm in a "starting over" phase it feels like.  NO I'm not starting over from my start weight or anything like that.  But just feeling like I'm mentally starting over. 

When I first started losing weight things were in a great spot for me - I had a job I loved and Omari was out of town for months for a contract job.  It was all about ME and it was fabulous for weight loss.  When you have nobody to consider at all except yourself - it's really easy to do all the things you need to do to lose weight.  Then the hubby came back and I had to figure out how to do things with someone else around.  And I did.  I kept losing and I was strict with myself because I KNEW that was what I had to do.  Over time I've lost some of that strictness and that focus.  I have really recognized that over the past few months because I find myself saying yes where I would say no.  Or ordering a much less healthy meal with no consideration.  Less salad and more meat.  More desserts out.  More dining out in general instead of cooking. 

The slow decline into old habits is so real.  If you have been a certain type of person for 90% of your life - it's easy to get back to that person if you don't fight.  I have lost a little fight over the last year or so.  Starting with the move to Minnesota I let a little bit go.  As I got more into my new job out here I let a little more go.  I have slowly let myself become old Kim because I once again have put more effort and focus into my career instead of myself.  I can do both - but it takes more effort mentally than I had to in the past.  My job is more demanding than really any job I have had before.  I love it...but I have to once again work on finding balance in my life before I find myself declining right back up the scale. 

So today is day 1 again.  I'm starting over.  I'm doing things differently this time though.  No insanity to save the day.  I'm going to focus on weights with cardio added in vs the cardio overload.  This works for me with my new life out here.  The cardio is honestly too much for me right now.  I don't have it in me for some reason.  I am going back to my mostly veganish diet though.  That is key for me.  I do very well on this diet and I feel better.  I've been sick for over a month and I'm convinced that the poor eating is contributing to it.  I was never sick other than allergies when I ate plant based. 

So that's the plan.  It's now time to get into this work out.  My 6 pack bag is stuffed to the gills with food for the day - oats with banana and maple, green juice, collards w/ onions cooked in coconut milk with veggie burgers (spinach and chickpea), and strawberries.  I will make a shakeology for breakfast once I'm ready to go to work.  I will check in later, watch this space!